Don’t do this: December to Dismember

This week, we’ll be looking at one of the biggest PPV snafus ever.  That’s right – the now-defunct ECW brand’s first (and only) solo branded PPV, December to Dismember.

Nothing screams Christmas quite like the Sandman's arm.

WWE (ECW Brand): December 3, 2006

Things had not been going well for the ECW brand since it was introduced after the second edition of One Night Stand in June.  At that point, the brand had drafted Kurt Angle and had an intriguing storyline in which Rob Van Dam held both the newly reestablished ECW Championship as well as Raw’s WWE Championship, which he had won from John Cena at the PPV.  Unfortunately, just after having broken through his so-called “glass ceiling”, RVD got caught driving while smoking pot, so the WWE quickly took both the belts off of him and made him climb up and glue the shattered ceiling back together.  Kurt Angle was released to give him proper time to heal his staggering list of injuries, but quickly jumped ship to the neophyte TNA.  So in full panic mode, the Big Show was elevated to the top spot and the increasingly popular Bobby Lashley was shoehorned in from Smackdown to pad the roster.

December to Dismember, an awful named PPV trying to harken back to the original ECW’s November to Remember, would be the ECW brand’s first PPV, though it was pretty much doomed right from the start.  The Survivor Series – one of the WWE’s big four PPVs – was held the week before, and the Smackdown brand’s Armageddon would be held two weeks later.  Just three weeks after that would be Raw’s New Year’s Revolution.  So right off the bat, the show was in trouble since both Raw and Smackdown had been focusing on Survivor Series and had not had time to help promote this show.  Not that there was much to promote.

1/8th Nelson Q&A!

It’s that time!  Time for us, the 1/8th Nelson staff, to answer your questions.

Of course, I’m not going to pretend that we actually get asked questions ourselves, so instead we’ll be using the search terms that have brought you to us!  Let’s begin!

“ric flair to turn on aj styles for kaz”
It certainly seems that way, doesn’t it?  Flair cannot be pleased with how frequently he’s been losing with AJ Styles, and especially since Styles no longer has the TNA Championship.  The odd thing?  He’s trading someone who just lost the TNA title for someone who just lost the X-Division Title.  Since Kazarian really has no one to turn on to go with Flair, it’s more likely that Styles will be booted and turn face.  Finally.

“rob terry hair”
Um…ok.  Rob Terry’s hair looks like this:

Is that what you were looking for?

Preview: WWE WrestleMania XXVI

Usually, I give the back story to the event we’re about to preview and say how it came about.  But come on, man.  It’s WrestleMania.  ‘Nuff said.  Let’s check out the card.

WWE Championship Match
Batista(c) vs. John Cena
When will they ever learn that it’s just not smart to cross Vince McMahon?  When McMahon disgraced Bret Hart during his WWE return (see below), John Cena confronted him and called him a coward for his actions.  This simmered between Cena and McMahon until last month’s Elimination Chamber PPV.  Cena dethroned Sheamus and recaptured the WWE Championship, but McMahon would have the last laugh.  He granted Batista an immediate title shot and the Animal demolished the exhausted Cena to win the title.

Cena got his chance for a rematch, but only if he could beat Batista in a non-title match.  Batista quickly got himself dq’d with a kick to the groin, and the match was on.  Since then, it’s been non-stop intensity between the two.  The promos from both Cena and (shockingly enough) Batista have been excellent,  and this is really an exciting feud.  Everything seems to be pointing towards a happy ending for Cena, but I’ve learned to never try to guess on the obvious at WrestleMania.  Actually, I’m going to anyway.  My bet is for Cena to win.

World Heavyweight Championship Match
Chris Jericho(c) vs. Edge
This one starts all the way back at The Bash in June.  Jericho and Edge were entered into a tag team title match and captured the titles from Carlito and Primo.  Less than a week later, however, Edge tore an Achilles tendon and was put on the shelf for months.  Jericho took the opportunity to verbally bash Edge before announcing his new partner to be the Big Show.  Edge made a surprise return at the Royal Rumble, eliminating Jericho and capturing the guaranteed title shot at WrestleMania.  Jericho, shockingly enough, captured the World title at Elimination Chamber when Shawn Michaels surprisingly entered the Chamber and hit champion Undertaker with Sweet Chin Music.  It was inevitable that Edge would take his shot against Jericho.

What makes this feud slightly odd is that Edge is the face here.  He first turned heel back in 2004 (abandoning partner Chris Benoit) and has been the top heel of the company nearly ever since.  The fans took to his return, however, and have accepted him in this role.  You have to think that it won’t be long before he’s back on the dark side, but it may not be here.  As for a winner?  I don’t know.  It seems like Edge will have this one in hand, but I could also see Jericho pulling out the shocking upset and this thing going past this match.

Maria, Hurricane, Paul Burchill released

WWE announced three releases from the company yesterday in Maria, Shane “Hurricane” Helms and Paul Burchill.  None of these come as a huge surprise.

According to some, Maria has been looking to move on from wrestling and expand her opportunities, a la Stacy Keibler.  She has not had much to do on her own lately, as the Celebrity Apprentice has limited her storyline possibilities.  That makes two WWE Divas lost to reality TV appearances.

Helms (who WWE finally announced was the Hurricane) was finally rising through the ranks of Smackdown as a bitter heel, but was stopped flat when a neck injury took him out of action for over a year.  When he came back, he was inexplicably turned to a backstage announcer, which eventually transitioned back to his popular Hurricane character.  Unfortunately, a recent arrest for drunkenness pulled him from the air, and he was gone once ECW ended.  Look for him in TNA.

Paul Burchill really perplexes me.  Not that he was released, but that he was never really used.  He’s got a good look, size and talent, but the WWE simply never used him.  His pirate gimmick was crazy over with the fans, but got nixed quickly.  He did an awesome job in OVW, but came back to WWE and was used mainly as a jobber.  Really a tragic waste.  I’d expect to see him in ROH before TNA, as I’m not sure a talented young guy would have a place in the Hogan regime.

The End Is Here – ECW 02/16/10

The run of the WWE ECW has come to an end.  Starting off with a bang with Rob Van Dam breaking through that glass ceiling winning the WWE Championship at One Night Stand until he was screwed by Paul Heyman and Big Show making Big Show the first Triple Crown Champion.  We saw the rise of CM Punk, Kofi Kingston, The Miz and John Morrison.  New superstars were initiated with former champion Jack Swagger and the high-flying Evan Bourne while beloved second tier talents rose to become the champions the fans demanded in Kane, Mark Henry,  Matt Hardy and even Chavo Guerrero. The heart and soul of ECW Tommy Dreamer fought his way to Summerslam and with the help of a 1 day contract extension became champion once again. Now we have Ruthless Roundtables, The Gold Standard, a Long Island loudmouth, Dudebusters, Oriental Gold and “peeps” as far as the eye can see. Blood, sweat and tears lie its wake as these superstars move on to their bright futures on either Raw or Smackdown as newly made free agents.

And with that on with the show…

Wrapping Things Up In The Big Easy – ECW 2/9/10

The night started off with General Manager Tiffany addressing the ECW locker room about the end of ECW. Wh announced that in 2 weeks time they would all be free agents and to look to the future and put on a great show for the next two weeks. She also told them to have fun and with that she pulled out some beads (which she possible might have earned, I don’t know) and a what I want to say was a Hurricane and started celebrating. Abraham Washington was excited about “getting paid” while Zack Ryder was concerned about his and Rosa’s  futures. Me too Zack, me too.

Big News In Memphis – ECW 02/02/10

The big news of the night was that Mr. McMahon himself would be appearing  to discuss the future of ECW.  What does the this mean for the Land of Extreme?  Well, simply put, in 3 weeks (or after Elimination Chamber) there will be no more ECW.  In its place will be the next phase in sports entertainment. A brand new, innovative, never-before-seen programming premiering in the same time slot on Syfy in March.  Am I surprised?  Not really.  Without Tommy Dreamer there’s no reason to continue calling it ECW.  So I suppose in 3 weeks I’ll be cover the all-new, all-better WWE Tuesday night show!

Unconventional 2010 Royal Rumble Predictions

My fellow writer Masked Marvel did an excellent job in breaking down the entire card, so I’m going to focus on the actual Royal Rumble match itself. As of 2:00, there were still 25 participants announced. So, here are some predictions:

#1 and #2 entrants: I just have this feeling that Jack Swagger will draw #1. #2 will go to Evan Bourne. CM Punk will also have a Top 5 number.
#30: this one’s tough. I’m going to pick 2 people: if he’s healthy enough to do it, Edge gets this spot. He screws Chris Jericho in some form. If he’s not ready to go, then I think Kane draws #30. In his 12th consecutive Rumble match, he may make some serious noise tonight.

Longest time in the Rumble: Chris Jericho or CM Punk. I agree with Masked Marvel in that he won’t win it, but I can see Jericho lasting past the 45-minute mark. I can see Punk doing the same, esp. if he doesn’t draw an early number. I don’t see anyone going over an hour.

Shortest time in the Rumble: Zach Ryder. This may anger manof1004gimmicks but Mr. Ryder’s stay in the Royal Rumble will be less than 3 minutes.

“Holy Crap!!” Elimination: go to YouTube and look up how Paul London and Taka were eliminated from past Rumbles (Taka never was in the Rumble that he had his “Holy Crap!!” moment). For some reason, I think Yoshi Tatsu or Evan Bourne might be this year’s recipients.

“Final Five”: I think both members of DX- Shawn Michaels and HHH- will be there. I think CM Punk will be there. So will Kane. Unfortunately, I also see John Cena there.

2010 Royal Rumble Winner: The scenario that played out on Raw will happen again: DX eliminates Cena. However, I think this time, Michaels eliminates HHH, and wins his record-tying 3rd Royal Rumble.

Ezekiel 25:17 – ECW 1/26/10

The night starts off with William Regal in the ring revelling over the destruction he and ECW #1 Contender Ezekiel Jackson caused champion Christian last week. Clips are shown and Big Zeke comes out to the ring. He asserts his upcoming domination of Christian at the Royal Rumble quoting a few verses from the Book of Ezekiel. Jackson has a surprisingly nice speaking voice by the way. Very enjoyable.

ECW Champion Christian stands out on the entrance way and comments on Jacksons scripture stating his own verse from the Book of Ezekiel (he is “Christian”), Ezekiel 25:17. For those not familiar with the good book it’s the verse Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) gives before killing someone in Pulp Fiction.

With that being said the two had some brief back and forth when Christian said that unlike the two on one that happened last week he’d found some help this week. Cue massive flame pyros! The Big Red Monster Kane makes his way down to the ring. And this is our opening match!

A Bad Night For The Champ – ECW 1/19/10

The night starts off with The Abraham Washington Show with your host Santino Marella! Wait a minute. Abraham Washington was apparently unable to host his show that night and Marella stepped in. He taught Tony Atlas some Italian then brought out his first guest Vladimir Kozlov.

After some quick jokes at Kozlov’s expense about why Marella chose him to be his first guest we discovered the true reason Kozlov is so disliked. The truth is that he really loves America (especially chili cheese fries and Hannah Montana) but everyone thinks he’s Ivan Drago from Rocky IV and thus hate him (he did kill Apollo Creed afterall). This gave a the fans of Marella from his pre-WWE days a chance to remember how good of a Russian accent he can do. Kozlov seemed unamused throughout but did give a Rocky IV quote nonetheless.

Marella then decide the two of them should team up and become a tag team to which both the fans and Kozlov said “no!” After that, with no help from Tony Atlas, Marella decide to end the show.