Send in the clowns: TNA Destination X 2010

You might recall that in my preview I actually gave the thumbs up to spending your hard-earned money on Destination X.  The matches were (mostly) set up well, and the last two episodes of Impact had been improving, so why not give them a chance?  Allow me to take the opportunity to apologize.  I’m really sorry.

Sure, the feud between AJ Styles and Abyss had been a bit cartoonish.  Boiling down to a rehash of Ric Flair vs. Hulk Hogan, Styles and Abyss had basically become caricatures of their “idols” rather than characters in their own rights.  But when the bell rang, the two returned to their usual styles which was a breath of fresh air.  So they had a good, conclusive match to end the feud and move Styles on to D’Angelo Dinero, right?

Oh, no.

As the match continued, Ric Flair entered the area in a wheelchair (apparently crippled from being chokeslammed through the stage last week) and sprayed mace in the referee’s eyes.  No ref, no way to lose the belt, right?  AJ took the opportunity and laid out Abyss with the belt, but Hulk Hogan would take care of business by wheeling Flair to the back and bringing Earl Hebner as the new referee.  After all, it’s not like Earl Hebner was paid off by Flair to screw over Kurt Angle a couple months ago, right?

Abyss kicked out of Styles’s 450 Splash and began Hulking up, complete with big boot.  But unfortunately, when you mix the power of Hulkamania (by way of magic WWE Hall of Fame ring) with the power of Abyss, the ring apparently can’t handle it.  Abyss chokeslammed Styles through the ring, leading Hebner to throw the entire mess out.  Hogan tried to give Abyss the belt, but Hebner would have none of it.  And that’s when things really got silly.

Ric Flair got yanked into the ring and sprayed with the mace.  Blinded, he began crawling around (because he’s crippled, if you recall) as Desmond Wolfe came into the ring.  He was beaten, then sprayed, and now blinded himself, he tripped over Ric Flair and fell into the hole in the ring.  That’s right – best worker in the company has no match on the PPV, but gets a slapstick comedy bit.  Finally, Flair fell into the hole himself, and Abyss and Hogan celebrated their title match loss moral victory.

Makes you want to stay tuned for what comes next, huh?  The rest of the show after the jump.

  • Kazarian defeated Brian Kendrick, Amazing Red and Daniels to secure an X-Division title shot in an excellent match.  The finish came when Kazarian superplexed Daniels off a ladder, but kept his legs hooked in the ladder to stay on and grabbed the contract.
  • Hulk Hogan finally got around to telling Eric Bischoff to knock off the hijinx with Mick Foley and Jeff Jarrett.  Bischoff promised he would on Impact.
  • Tara defended her title after dodging a shot from the belt then hitting Daffney with the Widow’s Peak.  Daffney managed to escape with Tara’s spider, so it looks like this one isn’t over yet.
  • Rob Terry defeated Magnus (who has removed the ‘Brutus’ from his name) in about a minute to defend his Global championship.  Uh, okay.
  • The Motor City Machine Guns defeated Generation Me in the Ultimate X match.  This match was incredible, but with these two teams would you really have expected anything else?
  • To the surprise of absolutely no one, Kevin Nash turned on Eric Young and gave the Band the win, securing their jobs with TNA.  Syxx traced an outline of Young in spraypaint on the mat, which stayed there for the rest of the show.
  • Doug Williams defended his title against Shannon Moore, but you probably don’t care, do you?  After the match, Williams denounced the style of the X-Division and called Moore a clown.  To demonstrate the point, he stole some lipstick from a fan and drew on Moore’s face.  Good stuff.
  • Hernandez and Matt Morgan defended their titles when Hernandez dodged James Storm’s beer spit and pinned him for the win over Beer Money, Inc.  Morgan, who was nailed by the spit, took his anger out on his partner, hitting a Carbon Footprint and laying the titles over his fallen form.
  • Kurt Angle defeated Mr. Anderson by hitting him with the “warrior medal” then locking on the ankle lock.  Can this feud please be over now?

Looking back
So this show was kind of a mess, wasn’t it?  While the X-Division stuff was quite good, the rest of the show dragged.  Unfortunately, it’s that rest of the show that TNA seems to be focusing on.  The main event finish was something so ridiculously silly that it would have been hard to watch 15 years ago.  The main title of the company should be taken seriously and held with prestige.  Instead we get Hogan vs. Flair by proxy, and TNA seems determined to make the presentation just as silly as the concept.  D’Angelo Dinero, who was the highlight of last month’s PPV, wasn’t even on the show!  I’m betting Desmond Wolfe wishes that he had that kind of luck.

It should be noted that no titles changed hands at this show, which is impressive being that five of the six of them were on the line.  Styles retaining was predictable, as was Doug Williams over Shannon Moore.  The only questionable choice was to keep the tag titles on Matt Morgan and Hernandez.  The breaking up of the team creates a feud in itself – there is no reason to have the tag belts involved.  Beer Money could have gone on to the Motor City Machine Guns while Hernandez and Morgan move onto a feud all their own.  This makes me think that MEM will be getting the titles sooner than later.

Other random thoughts:

  • I like the thought of a program between Kazarian and Doug Williams.  Kazarian’s got a good babyface move going and Williams is a natural heel.  The two will do quite well together.
  • Neither Jeff Jarrett nor Mick Foley were on the show.  I can’t say that’s a bad thing.
  • I swear that I heard the match between Tara and Daffney was supposed to be first blood.  I actually prefer that it wasn’t.
  • No more Brutus for Magnus?  Could we be seeing the epic return of Brutus Beefcake?  God, I hope not.
  • Why doesn’t someone just jump up from the mat and grab the X in the Ultimate X match?  Just saying.
  • So now the Band is officially staying in TNA.  Keep Scott Hall out of the ring, and I don’t really care.
  • Shannon Moore does look like a clown.  I am behind Doug Williams on that one.

So we move on from here and hopefully we get Abyss and Hulk Hogan out of the title picture.  It can’t get much worse, right?

Right?

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