The ‘C’ stands for ‘Crying’: TNA Impact 7/22/10

The brawl to end last week’s Impact was a much-talked about event. The former ECW guys finally did something and the show ended with Dixie Carter dropping the somewhat baffling news that she had invited them to Impact (despite the fact that four of them already worked there). This week, Impact closed its episode with a lengthy segment in which Dixie brought the four out and explained just what she was doing. And the whole thing went to hell.

If you’re going to try to do an ECW revival, you probably want some violence. Barbed wire, chairs, weapons, kendo sticks. After all, the group has the likes of Rhino, Mick Foley, Raven and Tommy Dreamer in it. You want fast-paced action that can outrun common sense in the spirit of entertainment. What you probably don’t want is a blubbering Tommy Dreamer begging Dixie to give ECW a chance to rebuild its legacy while choking back tears as the others stand by silently nodding.

Three guesses which one TNA gave. 

Explaining that their presence was not an invasion, but rather a chance to once more show what ECW had been, Tommy Dreamer got his request for one show, and then Impact went off the air with Dreamer hugging Dixie. Because nothing screams extreme quite like hugging. 

As for the rest of the show… 

 

  • AJ Styles defeated Rob Terry for the Global Championship when Kazarian tripped Terry then held his leg while Styles made the pin.
  • Angelina Love was forced to return the Knockouts Championship to Madison Rayne as the “board of directors” decided that the motorcycle woman who interfered was not of the Beautiful People.
  • Love and Taylor Wilde defeated Rayne and Sarita but were beaten down when the motorcycle woman showed up. To Velvet Skye’s chagrin, Lacey Von Erich left with Rayne.
  • Dixie Carter yelled at the backstage agents for last week’s brawl. Apparently they were as confused by the whole mess as the rest of us were.
  • By the way, you can follow Dixie Carter on Twitter!
  • Kurt Angle defeated the #7 contender Hernandez with the ankle lock.
  • Kevin Nash called out Jeff Jarrett, but I really quit paying attention before the bit ended. I remember the term “log in the punch bowl” being said like 7 times.
  • Samoa Joe and Jeff Hardy went to a time limit draw because TNA enjoys pissing off its fans.
  • Mr. Anderson defeated Matt Morgan with the Mic Check, but afterwords Morgan joined the club of people who have hit Anderson with his own mic after the match.
  • Brother Devon asked Brother Ray if he had the ECW guys’ backs, and Ray responded that he was sick of the ECW guys and owed nothing to them. Finally, something we agree on.
  • In the second match of the Best of 5 series, Beer Money defeated the Motor City Machine Guns in a street fight when James Storm hit Alex Shelley with a beer bottle. Just like last week! For some reason, both refs present had to be knocked out for the weapon finish in a street fight.

Looking Back
I figured that TNA would cause me to lose interest in the ECW bit before their PPV of Hard Justice, but I also figured it would be around week 3 or 4 before they did it. Silly me. To me, it says something about the ECW legacy that many of its former participants can’t seem to get past the fact that they were in it. It also doesn’t help that this was done before. While yes, the ECW brand in WWE was not at all like the original ECW, the original One Night Stand reunion show most definitely was. And better, the show took place in the Hammerstein Ball Room in New York, where the atmosphere screamed original ECW. That atmosphere just isn’t there in the Impact Zone, where both this and Hard Justice are taking place. 

But TNA is certainly not the place for an ECW revival – especially not in 2010. After all, for the first half of the year, we’ve been watching Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff run the company. If you remember your history, you’ll recall that ECW lost many of its high profile stars when Eric Bischoff raided the company and offered them big money to jump ship. Eric Bischoff was the enemy. In fact, of the five ECW guys present, three of them jumped ship for the offer of big money. Hell, Stevie Richards did it twice. Perhaps this is the reason Eric Bischoff has been pushed off of TV as of late. You simply can’t reconcile ECW and Eric Bischoff. 

But the rest of TNA seems to be on hold while this thing is going on. Kurt Angle is still crawling up the rankings sheet, but discussion of “They” seems to be on hold (Abyss wasn’t on the show, despite being the #1 contender), champion Rob Van Dam was limited to one interview in which he talked about ECW and with Bischoff and Hogan MIA, Kevin Nash is forced to go through the TNA yes-man Jeff Jarrett. Only two more weeks of this, and then after Hard Justice maybe they’ll get back to business. Or not. 

  • When did AJ styles and Kazarian become BFFs? They win one match together and suddenly all the animosity is gone?
  • I had completely forgotten about the Global Championship until this match. It’s been what, like two months since Rob Terry defended it?
  • And another Knockout title change without any kind of victory. To hell with it.
  • Since the title change got reversed due to a bad call from the ref, shouldn’t Rob Terry be getting the Global title back since the ref didn’t see the interference?
  • I can’t figure out who to cheer for in the Knockouts division. Madison Rayne is supposed to be the heel, which would make Velvet Skye sympathetic, yet she’s still acting like a heel. To hell with that too.
  • You might have wanted to let us know that guys like D’Lo Brown, Al Snow and Simon Diamond were road agents last week before the brawl they were involved in. It also made them look incompetent when Snow tried to explain why he attacked TNA referees.
  • Do we really have to wait for Kurt Angle to beat all the contenders or can he just go every other one?
  • Again – if bringing Scott Hall and Syxx in was such a problem for TNA management, why did they book the match with contracts on the line?
  • Samoa Joe vs. Jeff Hardy was a PPV-worthy match (on paper, at least). Free on TV.
  • Matt Morgan really should have put up more of a fight against Anderson. At least he got the last laugh.
  • Man, Brother Ray’s a dick.
  • I get that busting a beer bottle is James Storm’s M.O., but you really need a different finish. We’ll get two MCMG wins and then the finale on the PPV. Yay, scheduling!
  • Pardon my immaturity, but everything Tommy Dreamer and Dixie Carter said to each other made it sound like he seduced her to get the ECW thing going.
  • And yes, I giggled when she told him that he knew how to get a person into an “uncomfortable position.” You know, like the back of a Volkswagon.
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