Quick hits on WWE Superstars 02/17/11

I thought that since I watch the show every week, I might as well give my thoughts on it.  Here’s a rundown of what happened on Superstars.

Chris Masters def. Tyler Reks
It was truly the contest of the behemoths of Superstars, as neither Chris Masters nor Tyler Reks tend to lose matches on the C-Show.  Well, make that Chris Masters who never loses on the C-Show as he caught Reks coming off the top rope and locked on the Masterlock to get the win.  The commentators claimed that since returning to the WWE no one has broken the Masterlock and as long as he sticks to Superstars, that claim will remain true.

The Usos (Jey and Jimmy Uso) def. Yoshi Tatsu and David Hart Smith
Remember when David Hart Smith was a tag team champion?  Losing on Superstars in no big deal – the lower card seems to shuffle around with who wins and who loses – but losing to the Usos is kind of embarassing.  Not only did these guys make absolutely nothing out of their debut and feud with the Hart Dynasty, but they lost their valet to Santino Marella of all people.  But fortunately, they happen to be identical twins and as stated in the rulebook of tag team wrestling if twins are tagging (or even similar looking partners – the Headbangers used to do it), then they must pull the ol’ switcheroo.  Jimmy exchanged with Jey and pulled the win.  Or at least that’s who Josh Matthews said it was, so I’m taking his word for it.

Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov (w/Tamina) def. Zack Ryder & Primo
Woo woo woo, you knOW! YOU JUST HIT ME WITH THE COBRA, BRO!  I know at least one of this blog’s writers is DZP (hint: it’s manof1004gimmicks) but their efforts at tag teaming has been pretty abysmal thus far.  In an effort filled with miscues and botched moves, the tag champs made Zack and Primo look silly.  ZP became the first pairing I’ve ever seen miss the arm-held-slam-off-the-ropes move when Santino of all people simply pulled Primo out of the way with his held arm.  The ending was never in question and with the loss goes any chance of a DZP tag title opportunity.

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Diva success and the guys they leave behind

It was the Cobra heard ’round the world as Tamina used her boyfriend Santino Marella’s signature move to drop an attacking Maryse.  Well, maybe it wasn’t that big of a deal but to me, it signified the official tie between Tamina and Santino as well as the end of her association with the lackluster tag team the Usos.

Tamina moving past Jey and Jimmy Uso is not a new pattern for valets in the WWE.  Often used to add a bit of shine to an otherwise dull unit, valets are often yanked from their “clients” and moved onto other storylines while they fade lower into the pool of obscurity.  Let’s take a trip back and look at some of the more high profile WWE Divas and the superstars they moved beyond.

Sable w/Marc Mero
It’s hard to believe that Sable debuted as a valet for the then-snobby blueblood Hunter Hearst Helmsley for his WrestleMania XII squash loss to the Ultimate Warrior.  But unlike the Warrior’s return, Sable stuck around for a while, eventually rescued from the abusive Helmsley by the newly arrived Wildman Marc Mero.  The couple remained happy for a while until Mero’s high-flying ring style put him on the shelf with a knee injury.

During his hiatus, Sable was seen around the WWE as a model of merchandise and became one of the more risquee female figures (especially for the time).  When Mero returned sporting a bitter former-boxer persona, he became an oppressive boyfriend figure, much like the one he himself had rescued Sable from.  Eventually Sable would break off from Mero, even teaming with a then-rookie Edge to defeat Mero and his new valet Jacqueline at SummerSlam 1998.

From that point, Sable and Mero’s careers took polar opposite paths.  Sable became the premier Diva of the WWE, holding onto the revived Womens title for months, even going heel in the process.  She returned for another run years later and kept her high profile status, even posing in Playboy a few times.  Mero, on the other hand, floundered on the midcard for a few months before suffering a loss to perrenial jobber Duane Gill in November and was never seen again.

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