Quick hits on WWE Superstars 02/17/11

I thought that since I watch the show every week, I might as well give my thoughts on it.  Here’s a rundown of what happened on Superstars.

Chris Masters def. Tyler Reks
It was truly the contest of the behemoths of Superstars, as neither Chris Masters nor Tyler Reks tend to lose matches on the C-Show.  Well, make that Chris Masters who never loses on the C-Show as he caught Reks coming off the top rope and locked on the Masterlock to get the win.  The commentators claimed that since returning to the WWE no one has broken the Masterlock and as long as he sticks to Superstars, that claim will remain true.

The Usos (Jey and Jimmy Uso) def. Yoshi Tatsu and David Hart Smith
Remember when David Hart Smith was a tag team champion?  Losing on Superstars in no big deal – the lower card seems to shuffle around with who wins and who loses – but losing to the Usos is kind of embarassing.  Not only did these guys make absolutely nothing out of their debut and feud with the Hart Dynasty, but they lost their valet to Santino Marella of all people.  But fortunately, they happen to be identical twins and as stated in the rulebook of tag team wrestling if twins are tagging (or even similar looking partners – the Headbangers used to do it), then they must pull the ol’ switcheroo.  Jimmy exchanged with Jey and pulled the win.  Or at least that’s who Josh Matthews said it was, so I’m taking his word for it.

Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov (w/Tamina) def. Zack Ryder & Primo
Woo woo woo, you knOW! YOU JUST HIT ME WITH THE COBRA, BRO!  I know at least one of this blog’s writers is DZP (hint: it’s manof1004gimmicks) but their efforts at tag teaming has been pretty abysmal thus far.  In an effort filled with miscues and botched moves, the tag champs made Zack and Primo look silly.  ZP became the first pairing I’ve ever seen miss the arm-held-slam-off-the-ropes move when Santino of all people simply pulled Primo out of the way with his held arm.  The ending was never in question and with the loss goes any chance of a DZP tag title opportunity.

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The End Is Here – ECW 02/16/10

The run of the WWE ECW has come to an end.  Starting off with a bang with Rob Van Dam breaking through that glass ceiling winning the WWE Championship at One Night Stand until he was screwed by Paul Heyman and Big Show making Big Show the first Triple Crown Champion.  We saw the rise of CM Punk, Kofi Kingston, The Miz and John Morrison.  New superstars were initiated with former champion Jack Swagger and the high-flying Evan Bourne while beloved second tier talents rose to become the champions the fans demanded in Kane, Mark Henry,  Matt Hardy and even Chavo Guerrero. The heart and soul of ECW Tommy Dreamer fought his way to Summerslam and with the help of a 1 day contract extension became champion once again. Now we have Ruthless Roundtables, The Gold Standard, a Long Island loudmouth, Dudebusters, Oriental Gold and “peeps” as far as the eye can see. Blood, sweat and tears lie its wake as these superstars move on to their bright futures on either Raw or Smackdown as newly made free agents.

And with that on with the show…

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A Bad Night For The Champ – ECW 1/19/10

The night starts off with The Abraham Washington Show with your host Santino Marella! Wait a minute. Abraham Washington was apparently unable to host his show that night and Marella stepped in. He taught Tony Atlas some Italian then brought out his first guest Vladimir Kozlov.

After some quick jokes at Kozlov’s expense about why Marella chose him to be his first guest we discovered the true reason Kozlov is so disliked. The truth is that he really loves America (especially chili cheese fries and Hannah Montana) but everyone thinks he’s Ivan Drago from Rocky IV and thus hate him (he did kill Apollo Creed afterall). This gave a the fans of Marella from his pre-WWE days a chance to remember how good of a Russian accent he can do. Kozlov seemed unamused throughout but did give a Rocky IV quote nonetheless.

Marella then decide the two of them should team up and become a tag team to which both the fans and Kozlov said “no!” After that, with no help from Tony Atlas, Marella decide to end the show.

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World’s Strongest Straight Edge Qualifying Conclusion- ECW 01/05/10

The night opened with ECW Champion Christian coming out to the ring to say a little something about the closing of the Homecoming Qualifying matches.  He said something about it feeling right to be in Louisville that night but being from the area I didn’t really get what he was going for except to get a hometown city naming response.  Louisville, Kentucky!  (cheers abound from crowds across the city)  He’s interrupted though by former ECW Champion and returning superstar CM Punk with Bam Neely, I mean Festus, Luke Gallows.  Whatever happened to Bam Neely anyway?  Anyway the two shared a brief back and forth with Christian stating that Punk may be a lot of things but he will never be ECW Champion again. 

And with that, on to the show-

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The Last of The Originals – ECW 12/29/09

The night started of immediately as the ECW Champion made his way ringside for one of the two (sadly very predictable) ECW Homecoming qualifiers. The Moscow Mauler confronts the Juggernaut of Destruction and Tommy Dreamer puts his WWE career on the line.  So without further ado let’s get into it.

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The Big Red Monster Kicks Off ECW Homecoming: 12/15/09

The night started off with GM Tiffany in the ring being very proud of her brands contribution to the TLC PPV.  So excited in fact, that she had Shelton Benjamin and ECW Champion Christian come out to the ring to personally thank them both.  Both superstars hobbled to the ring as the should as their  match was pretty pains-taking. Benjamin said that he was very proud to have been in the match but was a little disappointed in himself for not reaching his Gold Standard goal and wanted to do it again requesting a rematch.  Right on cue, William Regal interrupts Tiffany’s important announcement regarding that potential rematch with one word…Poppycock!

Seriously, that’s what he called it then questioned the GM’s sanity as to why she’d bring back the Big Red Monster Kane to ECW.  She explained:  Leading to the Royal Rumble, ECW will be having a Homecoming Tournament for the #1 Contender’s spot featuring past ECW Champions competing against current ECW superstars over the next few weeks.  This weeks qualifier matches were Vladimir Kozlov vs. Ezekiel Jackson and Kane vs. Zack Ryder.  Poor Zack Ryder. Christian and Benjamin have a well deserved night off.

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A Little Taste Of TLC: ECW 12/8/09

With TLC six days away, ECW was ramping up for the event. The night started off with Vladimir Kozlov and Ezekiel Jackson in the ring wanting to tear each others heads off. This has been building for months if you really think about it and the fans were eagerly anticipating it. Then William Regal came out and pleaded with the two (at one point even getting on his knees) to keep his “Ruthless Roundtable” together.

Then ECW Championship #1 Contender Shelton Benjamin came out and said “Let them fight!” He even got a chant going. But Regal seemed to have his men back on the same page stating that it was 3 on 1. Just then ECW Champion Christian and Yoshi Tatsu came out making it 3 on 3. Shots at William Regal were made and it seemed we were about to see it go down then but ECW GM Tiffany (fully recovered) came out giving the “Ruthless Roundtable” a choice: 6 man tag action or Kozlov vs. Jackson. It was 2 to 1 for 6 man tag with Jackson wanting to fight Kozlov. Read more of this post