Quick hits on WWE Superstars 02/17/11

I thought that since I watch the show every week, I might as well give my thoughts on it.  Here’s a rundown of what happened on Superstars.

Chris Masters def. Tyler Reks
It was truly the contest of the behemoths of Superstars, as neither Chris Masters nor Tyler Reks tend to lose matches on the C-Show.  Well, make that Chris Masters who never loses on the C-Show as he caught Reks coming off the top rope and locked on the Masterlock to get the win.  The commentators claimed that since returning to the WWE no one has broken the Masterlock and as long as he sticks to Superstars, that claim will remain true.

The Usos (Jey and Jimmy Uso) def. Yoshi Tatsu and David Hart Smith
Remember when David Hart Smith was a tag team champion?  Losing on Superstars in no big deal – the lower card seems to shuffle around with who wins and who loses – but losing to the Usos is kind of embarassing.  Not only did these guys make absolutely nothing out of their debut and feud with the Hart Dynasty, but they lost their valet to Santino Marella of all people.  But fortunately, they happen to be identical twins and as stated in the rulebook of tag team wrestling if twins are tagging (or even similar looking partners – the Headbangers used to do it), then they must pull the ol’ switcheroo.  Jimmy exchanged with Jey and pulled the win.  Or at least that’s who Josh Matthews said it was, so I’m taking his word for it.

Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov (w/Tamina) def. Zack Ryder & Primo
Woo woo woo, you knOW! YOU JUST HIT ME WITH THE COBRA, BRO!  I know at least one of this blog’s writers is DZP (hint: it’s manof1004gimmicks) but their efforts at tag teaming has been pretty abysmal thus far.  In an effort filled with miscues and botched moves, the tag champs made Zack and Primo look silly.  ZP became the first pairing I’ve ever seen miss the arm-held-slam-off-the-ropes move when Santino of all people simply pulled Primo out of the way with his held arm.  The ending was never in question and with the loss goes any chance of a DZP tag title opportunity.

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The End Is Here – ECW 02/16/10

The run of the WWE ECW has come to an end.  Starting off with a bang with Rob Van Dam breaking through that glass ceiling winning the WWE Championship at One Night Stand until he was screwed by Paul Heyman and Big Show making Big Show the first Triple Crown Champion.  We saw the rise of CM Punk, Kofi Kingston, The Miz and John Morrison.  New superstars were initiated with former champion Jack Swagger and the high-flying Evan Bourne while beloved second tier talents rose to become the champions the fans demanded in Kane, Mark Henry,  Matt Hardy and even Chavo Guerrero. The heart and soul of ECW Tommy Dreamer fought his way to Summerslam and with the help of a 1 day contract extension became champion once again. Now we have Ruthless Roundtables, The Gold Standard, a Long Island loudmouth, Dudebusters, Oriental Gold and “peeps” as far as the eye can see. Blood, sweat and tears lie its wake as these superstars move on to their bright futures on either Raw or Smackdown as newly made free agents.

And with that on with the show…

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Wrapping Things Up In The Big Easy – ECW 2/9/10

The night started off with General Manager Tiffany addressing the ECW locker room about the end of ECW. Wh announced that in 2 weeks time they would all be free agents and to look to the future and put on a great show for the next two weeks. She also told them to have fun and with that she pulled out some beads (which she possible might have earned, I don’t know) and a what I want to say was a Hurricane and started celebrating. Abraham Washington was excited about “getting paid” while Zack Ryder was concerned about his and Rosa’s  futures. Me too Zack, me too.

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Big News In Memphis – ECW 02/02/10

The big news of the night was that Mr. McMahon himself would be appearing  to discuss the future of ECW.  What does the this mean for the Land of Extreme?  Well, simply put, in 3 weeks (or after Elimination Chamber) there will be no more ECW.  In its place will be the next phase in sports entertainment. A brand new, innovative, never-before-seen programming premiering in the same time slot on Syfy in March.  Am I surprised?  Not really.  Without Tommy Dreamer there’s no reason to continue calling it ECW.  So I suppose in 3 weeks I’ll be cover the all-new, all-better WWE Tuesday night show!

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Ezekiel 25:17 – ECW 1/26/10

The night starts off with William Regal in the ring revelling over the destruction he and ECW #1 Contender Ezekiel Jackson caused champion Christian last week. Clips are shown and Big Zeke comes out to the ring. He asserts his upcoming domination of Christian at the Royal Rumble quoting a few verses from the Book of Ezekiel. Jackson has a surprisingly nice speaking voice by the way. Very enjoyable.

ECW Champion Christian stands out on the entrance way and comments on Jacksons scripture stating his own verse from the Book of Ezekiel (he is “Christian”), Ezekiel 25:17. For those not familiar with the good book it’s the verse Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) gives before killing someone in Pulp Fiction.

With that being said the two had some brief back and forth when Christian said that unlike the two on one that happened last week he’d found some help this week. Cue massive flame pyros! The Big Red Monster Kane makes his way down to the ring. And this is our opening match!

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A Bad Night For The Champ – ECW 1/19/10

The night starts off with The Abraham Washington Show with your host Santino Marella! Wait a minute. Abraham Washington was apparently unable to host his show that night and Marella stepped in. He taught Tony Atlas some Italian then brought out his first guest Vladimir Kozlov.

After some quick jokes at Kozlov’s expense about why Marella chose him to be his first guest we discovered the true reason Kozlov is so disliked. The truth is that he really loves America (especially chili cheese fries and Hannah Montana) but everyone thinks he’s Ivan Drago from Rocky IV and thus hate him (he did kill Apollo Creed afterall). This gave a the fans of Marella from his pre-WWE days a chance to remember how good of a Russian accent he can do. Kozlov seemed unamused throughout but did give a Rocky IV quote nonetheless.

Marella then decide the two of them should team up and become a tag team to which both the fans and Kozlov said “no!” After that, with no help from Tony Atlas, Marella decide to end the show.

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Homecoming Finale – ECW 1/12/10

Ever since 2 nights after TLC the fates have been in motion leading up to this night to determine ECW Champion Christian’s #1 Contender at the Royal Rumble. The Homecoming Finale is an 8-Man Over-The-Top-Rope Elimination Match. The superstars are as follows: Kane, Ezekiel Jackson, Vance Archer, Yoshi Tatsu, Evan Bourne, Matt Hardy, CM Punk and Shelton Benjamin.

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